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Selena Lix · Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 451

sorry to moan but been feeling really low lately. i am in turmoil regarding my future with my fella and dont know whether its gonna work out-i have such mixed feelings. i feel awful and just want to cry Sad

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Pieman · Joined: 08 May 2007 Posts: 494 Location: Reading

Don't worry about it, everyone needs to share their feelings.

Sorry to hear that you're feeling so down about it, we're all here for you if you need some advice, or just a shoulder to cry on!

<Big Hugs>
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Herr Geist · Joined: 10 May 2007 Posts: 4956 Location: Brighton, England

Indeed. This is just one big family anyway so don't hesitate to talk to us about whatever is bothering you, even if you don't wanna do it here. There's always PM's and stuff. I doubt anyone would mind.

*HUGS*
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Selena Lix · Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 451

thanks just feel torn between 2 parts of me- one part which is happy with him and comfortabe etc, the other doesnt want to settle down and wants to go out and have lots of fun, meet new men etc. i dont know which one to go with and its like an itch i cant scratch - i dont know if this is normal for relationships or whether its a sign thats somethings really wrong

*sighs*
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Herr Geist · Joined: 10 May 2007 Posts: 4956 Location: Brighton, England

I can only tell you from my experience that usually a relationship is over when one of the people involved starts feeling like this. It does suck to want to let go of someone you don't dislike, but if you keep yourself in the relationship knowing that you're unhappy, you'll just get really frustrated and eventually you'll resent the other person. No, it's not a logical process, but staying in a place where you're not comfortable is also not logical. Hence an illogical onset of emotional problems and low self-esteem.

If you feel that you should be out there meeting new people and having a great time, that means you're not getting something out of the relationship that you need. Even if you're not aware of what that thing is, it can still drive you crazy. Most people do know, though. They're just usually hesitant to admit it to themselves because of the guilt involved with leaving and / or not trying to fix the problem. The truth is, sometimes you just don't want to work on the relationship and you want to free yourself up. At that point, the relationship is definitely over. Force yourself to stay in that situation and you will end up shooting people from a clocktower in Texas.

Put some more thought into it and decide what it is that's making you feel like you need to let go. If it's something you're willing to work on with your current beau, then get to work. If it's not something you feel like curing, pack yo' shit and get the first train to Singlesville.

That's just my 2 cents.
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Selena Lix · Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 451

sense as always herrgeist - thats exactly what i need to think about
i would hug you but im in a fragile place right now lol
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Herr Geist · Joined: 10 May 2007 Posts: 4956 Location: Brighton, England

haha no need for hugs. I just don't like to see people in unhappy relationships. That's one of the main reasons I am so hesitant to jump into a relationship myself. I've really got to click with a girl before I'll ever even consider it again. And I'm a picky bastard so the odds are slim my single status will end any time soon. Not to say I don't love girls for their individual personalities, but beginning a commitment is a big step and I think it's only right to be thoughtful about it. After all, if I end a relationship due to incompatibility, it's not me who's going to be hurt. I don't want to put a great girl through bad times because I'm picky. Better to be careful than to break hearts.
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Miss Baby Bones · Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 11:49 pm Post subject:

well it depends how long you've been together hun?

maybe you're just bored of the routines? maybe try something new together like an outing, or romantic meals/time together. things like that.

otherwise easy to fall into patterns.

xxx
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Selena Lix · Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 451

thanks for all the good advice - im moving nearer to the place where im working anyway so itll give me some space and time to work out what i want. maybe we both just need some space.
i really appreciate all your help guys *gives bigs hugs*
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Selena Lix · Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 451

Herr Geist · Joined: 10 May 2007 Posts: 4956 Location: Brighton, England

Good. Maybe it will help you figure out what you need. Wink

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Selena Lix · Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 451

having said that i forgot to post up last wwekend- i went up with the intention of us having a break and as i was speaking to him i realsied i didnt wanna lose him. and hes been so good this week with my contract locum position being lost and needing hand to move my stuff back out from temporary living. We're giving it another go-yay! and as we left the pub having a meal last weekend after making up, al green's lets stay together came on. spooky huh?
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Herr Geist · Joined: 10 May 2007 Posts: 4956 Location: Brighton, England

Al Green is the devil! Not saying that the song was a bad occurrence in your life, I just think the guy is the devil in the flesh.

If you're happy, that's all that matters. Just please make sure you're not staying with him out of fear and doubt and guilt. If that's not the case.... YAY! I don't care how you find happiness, so long as you find it.
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Katrina Orchid · Joined: 26 Dec 2007 Posts: 564 Location: Oxford, UK

*hugs* *hugs* *hugs*

I'm sorry I can't offer any better advice but I can definitely offer hugs.

Selena Lix · Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 451

well gues what folks- the feelings i had before when i wrote this post originally have come back- god i need to sort this out Crying or Very sad

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