Madame Mechante
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Prudish FriendsI am so excited - as I have been given the chance to perform for the first time ever at the Bellydance & Burlesque event in October in Northampton.
I have mentioned this to a few of my friends who live locally and asked if they'd like to come along and give me some moral support - and they've all said no!
Reasons they gave were:
"I don't think I'd fit in"
"It's not my scene" (yet they've never been to anything like this before)
"I'd be too embarrassed"
"I don't agree with stripping" (ggrrrrrr!!)
"I wouldn't know where to look"
"That sort of thing is for perverts"
....................and so on and so on. Also there have been those who have laughed at me and said "Oh you're far to old to be doing that". Yes I am older than the majority of performers - but I really don't care. I've always wanted to get on stage and have a go and I can't understand how people can be so prudish.
So suddenly I now don't feel quite so elated, I'm a bit hurt and so much for so called friends!
Sorry for going on - but if anyone's got a spare hug available, I could sure use one right now.
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Herr Geist
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Starting up in burlesque means that you absolutely will deal with people who have no idea what it's really about and they won't share your liberal views on the whole thing. It's easier for guys to a point, but if someone insinuates that I do it just so I can be around half-naked women and I'm some sort of smut peddling pervert, I do tend to get pretty impatient with them.
All you can do is just push forward and try to find people who are like you and can appreciate what you're doing. It is a shame that you have to make separate friends in order to enjoy your burlesque life, but that's often how it goes.
Don't let it get you down. This won't be the last time you come across this type of behavior. Not be a long shot. Just remember that you love burlesque and that their attitudes toward it don't have anything to do with the kind of person you are or even the kind of people they are. Some people just won't get into it. It's that simple.
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Madame Mechante
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Thanks HG - advice is much appreciated.
Because I come on this forum - where everyone is really nice, and also I have been to a few events, you get to meet like minded people, so therefore (in my case) you don't think that there are people out there who are not comfortable with the idea of burlesque.
I have got over the initial shock - and on the plus side I had a couple of friends mail me last night asking for details as they are definitely coming along.
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zoetrope
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They probably don't know how to react about it, and think that reacting like that is the 'right' response. Especially if they know nothing about it. For all they know, you could be shooting ping pong balls out of places with tassles on them.
Dance your socks off! I bet you'll be amazing whatever they think!
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Miss Baby Bones
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there will be separate burly friends and normal friends. theres no point falling out with your current friends if they feel that strongly about it.
respect their wishes and do it without them.
they should then respect your wishes and not comment on your actions, unless its something nice or constructive!
good luck
xxx
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CharlotteThomson
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I think most people involved in the Burly scene have separate friends for different occasions lol! just like some of my friends will go to rock gigs with me, some will go to the ice hockey with me, some go to business events with me etc, all of mine have at least given a burlesque night a go, and most have enjoyed them but for some of them its really just not their 'thing'. My boyfriend doesnt get it at all, he really doesn't have fun at burlesque nights, we took him to Candy Box and he thought it was 'ok' and 'the band were quite good'..........i rest my case! I have given up on him ever getting it but i have plenty of friends that do, so it doesnt matter. As long as you have some friends who appreciate that part of you and support you it's fine, and if they're on a forum or backstage at a night its better than a kick in the face! Hope your first performance goes well!! ;o)
xx
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Herr Geist
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Exactly. I have friends that don't even listen to metal which is astounding when you think about how much I'm into it. But, there was a time when I lapsed from metal for a while and made friends who did not listen to it. When I got back to my roots, I couldn't get ANY of them to come with me. They just weren't into it most times, but sometimes you'd hear things like "Oh, I couldn't. I don't think I'd do well around a bunch of skinheads who listen to devil worshipping music." !?!?!?!?! hahaha. And this was from someone I considered to be quite intelligent and liberal. It took me five minutes to be convinced she wasn't joking.
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Madame Mechante
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I'm actually quite excited now - well part of me is - the other part keeps thinking OMG what am I doing!!!!........and it's only August!
Thanks for all your advice though - I really do appreciate it. Makes me all the more determined to grow old disgracefully!
xxx
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CharlotteThomson
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LOL
the irony being all the skinheads i've ever met listen to cheerful, non-devil worshipping type music like Madness... all the devil worshippers i've met have been mainly into classical or folk music...and a bit of AC DC.
You never can tell ;o)
x
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CrimbleFairy
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None of my friends ever come to my shows, it doesn't really bother me anymore and I can accept they might find it a bit different. Best thing to do is to have a blast and meet lots of new friends! xxx
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Freya Fox
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I actually had the opposite and my friends over here try to come to a show when they can.
It's quite lucky that they are the kind of people that rather have a look and try to find what it is about before judging.
My friends in Germany didn't have a chance to come and see it yet but they are very open minded too and are asking how it's going.
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Lollypop
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FriendsI think its understandable that people have different reactions to things. I got into burlesque through one of my best friends, who took me along to a few nights. She performs all over the country, but there's no way I could get up on stage and do what she does! I actually admire anyone who can put themselves up for criticism in that way, but the great thing about burlesque is, no-one seems to ever be like that!
I am into burlesque, but I love it for the retro 40s/50s feel, and getting dressed up and wearing gorgeous clothes! You can enjoy various parts of it, and you have to give it a chance! You may be able to win them round in time, or maybe not, but either way, they are still your friends and will support you in what you do in other ways, and there's the opportunity to make all those new burlesque friends by doing something just for you!!!! xx
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