assistedsuicide
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Problems with the new manager/breaking down/how to cope...Dear Auntie Bettie,
I work for a well known company which has stores all over the world. It was my dream to work for this company and I tried uber hard all year to get a job there, then finally in August I was taken on by a London branch.
Everything was going great, I was told I was taken on a permenant part time employee, I got on with everyone and I couldn't of been happier...
Till... Our old manager had to become a sales assistant 1 day week at the store due to Uni, and we got our new manager...
The new manager acts very fake and makes the atmosphere in the shop unbearable. I've spoken to other members of staff and they feel the same. I broke down once when she weren't there...
Then yesterday I broke down INFRONT OF HER! I tried so hard to keep it together but I just couldn't  I told her how I felt about things and how I felt she hated me and she patronized me and told me it was all in my head. It made me feel like I crazy.
I knew it weren't all in my head because I have an ex member of staff who's at another branch to back me up and of course my ex manager and the other staff.
The other staff won't say anything in fear of loosing their jobs. I'm scared too, but I can't go on being treated like shit for much longer
It's my first job, and I'm only young... I feel like a wealking for not being able to cope already as I know people work in much worse conditions than I do!
I have contacted head office's email to ask how I complain but no response yet. I'm worried if the manager finds out I complained she will be even more horrible... I'm seeking a transfer but finding it hard right now to get one as most stores have enough staff
The main problem is, I need a job but I also need to feel fine emotionally and I'm not sure how much of this I can take... I need advice on how to cope and how to stay in this job.
Even worse, she asked if I was taken on as an XMAS TEMP to which I replied no, because when I first started my job I asked the ex manager if I was a temp and she said no, that I was permenant staff! But now she's saying she will have to see because all the xmas temps we have need an equal chance of getting a job there and that I will be reviewed soon as you get reviewed after 3 months, I'm furious!!!!
After yesterday, to which she had the cheek to think everything was fine, dandy and resolved... I went to another branch in London where an old member of staff we had is now at, I told her what happened and we also told the manager there, and basically she is glad I stood up for myself but they don't know if they will be able to take me there
Apparently I need to tell the manager I'm looking for a transfer but I don't want to incase she taints it in any way... Besides the old member of staff who transfered didn't tell her till she had said transfer...
I'm really at my wits end and I dread going into work, but I know I have every right to be there. But now I'm worrying she's going to get rid of me anyway because now she views me as an XMAS TEMP when I'm not!
P.S. None of our staff even have a copy of their contract, I told the ex manager and she's going to hopefully bring it up in the staff meeting tomorrow...
Please help me cope and stay in my job!
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Herr Geist
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I'm no Auntie Bettie, but I can tell you right now that no job in retail is worth that kind of emotional stress. I don't care what company it is! Neither will future employers even if you're seeking a career in fashion. You're young. You're unhappy at this job already and it doesn't look like anyone is going to back you up so the manager has the upper hand. There isn't much you can do unless you're able to rally the support of your coworkers which doesn't seem likely from your description of this situation.
I know you like the company you're working for and I know that it's a company you've been wanting to work for for a while, but it's just not worth your mental and emotional wellbeing. Look for another job. When you find one, put in your notice at the store you're working at now and take your leave. If you do it that way, you will most likely be able to get a job at a different location for the same company down the road. Maybe not. Either way, it's not worth your dignity.
Get out smart but get out fast.
That's my advice.
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assistedsuicide
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| Herrgeist wrote: | I'm no Auntie Bettie, but I can tell you right now that no job in retail is worth that kind of emotional stress. I don't care what company it is! Neither will future employers even if you're seeking a career in fashion. You're young. You're unhappy at this job already and it doesn't look like anyone is going to back you up so the manager has the upper hand. There isn't much you can do unless you're able to rally the support of your coworkers which doesn't seem likely from your description of this situation.
I know you like the company you're working for and I know that it's a company you've been wanting to work for for a while, but it's just not worth your mental and emotional wellbeing. Look for another job. When you find one, put in your notice at the store you're working at now and take your leave. If you do it that way, you will most likely be able to get a job at a different location for the same company down the road. Maybe not. Either way, it's not worth your dignity.
Get out smart but get out fast.
That's my advice. |
Thanks so much for the advice. I'm a strong willed person unfortunately so I will keep going, but if it's going to make me feel ANY worse I will have to stop... I'm just worried I'll end up walking out.
It's very hard to find a job with the way I look, my pink hair and eyebrows especially stops it... I guess I should start handing in my C.V./Cover Letter to other stores, maybe even stores that are completely unrelated...
I just feel sad because it's what I always wanted and to know one person is making my dream shit really fucks me off.
But then I don't like people treating me like shit and getting away with it
I know the ex sales assist who's now assist manager will stand up for me and I'm pretty sure the ex manager will too if I write my complaint. But yes I don't know that will make much difference...
Also, a store I trialed at (same company) also in London in July, well one of the people on my LJ is friends with the assist manager there I just found out, and she told me last night that she has now left along with 3 other members of staff due to the manager!!!! So it's nice to know I'm not alone, I've been given her email address and have sent an email to her asking for advice/someone to speak to who was in a same kind of situation
So yes I will continue looking for a job elsewhere but I'm just worried that before I've even got a job elsewhere that I would of walked out which would be bad as I can imagine my next employer would seek a reference from my current manager?
P.S. I try to think of it as JUST A JOB, and it's only 2 days a week, sometimes 3 days and sometimes even 1 day a week, that's another thing that gets my goat, she's unfair with hours and nobody knows their contracted hours!!!
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Herr Geist
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It sounds like you're at the mercy of an incompetent, self-important person who is so confident about the way they do things that they've gone off the deep end and just don't know it. That happens a LOT in retail. A LOT! I cannot stress to you how many times I've seen that happen. Which makes me laugh because it's just retail management. They're not saving the world. I understand it's not an easy job but it's surely nothing to get high and mighty about no matter how good you are at the job.
I understand that having odd colored hair and piercings/tattoos can really limit where you can find a job. I've been in the goth/industrial/metal scene for about 12 years now and I can't think of one friend I have that hasn't dealt with that at some point. You're young and you shouldn't be toning it down just yet so I fully back you on keeping your appearance the way you want it. Eventually, you'll probably have to start looking normal, but you should really enjoy it while you can. It's your right as a young person. You're in a hard place.
I think the best advice if you truly want to keep this job is this. Listen to the bitchy manager and do whatever it is you're told to do. Do your job and do it well. Anything outside of that should not be taken seriously. If this person says or does anything that is not job related, fake a smile, nod, and bury yourself in your work. Whatever you do, don't let her get to you. Seriously, who is she? She's not a member of your family or a close friend. Whatever she could possibly say to you should not matter one bit unless she's giving you a task to accomplish in the workplace. Just shrug it off and know you're the better person and do your job. In that time you can be thinking of another solution to your problem and you're most likely going to find it because opportunities tend to present themselves when you least expect them.
Good luck!
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Miss Kitty Lou
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I've been in the same sort of situation as you, and it's horrible, but I'm sure you can find yourself somewhere else. I know it's an obstacle having a different style (I had multicoloured hair most of the time whrn I worked in retail - and piercings and no eyebrows) but it's possible to win people round. And having met you, you make a fantastic first impression with your personality.
Yes they would seek a reference, but as far as I know you don't have to give them a reference from your current employer till after the interview, and not all places require a work reference, so you may be able to just use personal references (eg. old school teachers)
Good luck sweetie
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assistedsuicide
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| Herrgeist wrote: | It sounds like you're at the mercy of an incompetent, self-important person who is so confident about the way they do things that they've gone off the deep end and just don't know it. That happens a LOT in retail. A LOT! I cannot stress to you how many times I've seen that happen. Which makes me laugh because it's just retail management. They're not saving the world. I understand it's not an easy job but it's surely nothing to get high and mighty about no matter how good you are at the job.
I understand that having odd colored hair and piercings/tattoos can really limit where you can find a job. I've been in the goth/industrial/metal scene for about 12 years now and I can't think of one friend I have that hasn't dealt with that at some point. You're young and you shouldn't be toning it down just yet so I fully back you on keeping your appearance the way you want it. Eventually, you'll probably have to start looking normal, but you should really enjoy it while you can. It's your right as a young person. You're in a hard place.
I think the best advice if you truly want to keep this job is this. Listen to the bitchy manager and do whatever it is you're told to do. Do your job and do it well. Anything outside of that should not be taken seriously. If this person says or does anything that is not job related, fake a smile, nod, and bury yourself in your work. Whatever you do, don't let her get to you. Seriously, who is she? She's not a member of your family or a close friend. Whatever she could possibly say to you should not matter one bit unless she's giving you a task to accomplish in the workplace. Just shrug it off and know you're the better person and do your job. In that time you can be thinking of another solution to your problem and you're most likely going to find it because opportunities tend to present themselves when you least expect them.
Good luck! |
I've tired to keep working there and ignore all the shit that comes with it, but when I'm asked to do tasks I do them 110% well and I feel she does not appreciate the staff and always has something bad to say about whatever task your've completed, it's ridiculous!
And when there's nothing to do and you ask her she stresses at you. But then 2 days later she will say "if you need something to do, ask me!" WTF! And if you are unsure of what you are doing/how to do it to ask her but then when you do ask her she gets all pissy with you, I mean how the hell are you ment to win in such a situation!? 
So as you can imagine with this kind of shit going on it makes you feel like you are tredding on egg shells around her, I did tell her this but she looked at me in disbelief and like I was making it all up.
But like you said, she doesn't realize... And the sad thing is, I don't think she ever will.
Even worse she's only 23, worked for this company for 3 years and I don't think people should be able to become manager that young and after only 3 years experience... But obviously what I say does not count.
I try so hard to think "hey Leanne, you are only working here today for <insert hours here> so just grin/bare it and do your job and focus on the things you are looking forward to this week!" and sometimes it works but other times, well... It just doesn't...
I feel as though I'm moaning too much but it's clearly making me unhappy and I've done the right thing by addressing my problems and speaking about them and even speaking to the manager about them, so now all I can do is grin and bare it longer and search for my transfer/another job.
My main concern right now is: How long can I stay there without walking out... I really don't want to walk out! But yesterday was so hard, I nearly did walk out
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assistedsuicide
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| Miss Kitty Lou wrote: | I've been in the same sort of situation as you, and it's horrible, but I'm sure you can find yourself somewhere else. I know it's an obstacle having a different style (I had multicoloured hair most of the time whrn I worked in retail - and piercings and no eyebrows) but it's possible to win people round. And having met you, you make a fantastic first impression with your personality.
Yes they would seek a reference, but as far as I know you don't have to give them a reference from your current employer till after the interview, and not all places require a work reference, so you may be able to just use personal references (eg. old school teachers)
Good luck sweetie |
how did you manage to carry on working there without walking out? Like carry on working there and finally get a new job? Was there any particular methods of coping that you used? And thankyou, I really hope I can find somewhere else.
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Herr Geist
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Maybe this will help 
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assistedsuicide
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| Herrgeist wrote: | Maybe this will help
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LOLOLOL this is true, and I do try to think like that lolz but sometimes it's hard I'm such a retard lol
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Herr Geist
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Don't worry about it. You're not over-reacting. It's a frustrating situation, I know. That's why I'm my own boss now. I can't work under other people. I'm not the kind that will take a lot of bullshit without throwing someone down a flight of steps. Sure, it's barbaric and immature, but at least I know of my shortcoming and I've done what is necessary to prevent negative situations. If I was in your situation, I would have walked out backwards with both middle fingers in the air screaming "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"
You're handling it. Maybe not gracefully, but it's better than some people could do.
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EllaEmerald
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My other half is going through something similar and has got the union involved. This is not always the best idea and if you're not ready for shit to hit the fan might not be for you. Personally I don't think managers should be able to get away with treating you like shit and force you out of a job you are happy in. I would say do your job well so they have no reason to complain about you and report the bitch if she steps out of line.
Good luck however you decide to handle it, no one should have to put up with that and from what I've seen of you you're lovely!!
xx
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Miss Kitty Lou
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| assistedsuicide wrote: |
how did you manage to carry on working there without walking out? Like carry on working there and finally get a new job? Was there any particular methods of coping that you used? And thankyou, I really hope I can find somewhere else. |
I left sweetie, it's retail, it's seriously not worth the hassle. I'm sure you will find somewhere else.
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assistedsuicide
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| Miss Kitty Lou wrote: | | assistedsuicide wrote: |
how did you manage to carry on working there without walking out? Like carry on working there and finally get a new job? Was there any particular methods of coping that you used? And thankyou, I really hope I can find somewhere else. |
I left sweetie, it's retail, it's seriously not worth the hassle. I'm sure you will find somewhere else. |
It just upsets me that she's getting away with treating everyone like shit, and how unfair she is and how I would leave just because of her. It's not fair. I worked so fucking hard to get to work there so why should I leave!!?!! ARGH
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Miss Kitty Lou
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| assistedsuicide wrote: |
It just upsets me that she's getting away with treating everyone like shit, and how unfair she is and how I would leave just because of her. It's not fair. I worked so fucking hard to get to work there so why should I leave!!?!! ARGH |
I know The only thing you can do if you really want to stay there is go to her superiors and complain. Area manager or personnel. Do you have anyway of contacting them? I know in my past jobs I've been given paperwork when I've joined which explains grievance procedures, did they give you anything like that?
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assistedsuicide
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Even worse the manager called tonight and asked me to come into tomorrow for a meeting.
When I asked what about she said "Oh it's just a couple of things I've heard that I need to address"
GREAT. It's obvious that a member of staff has said I've spoken about her behind her back or something. So now I gather I'll be fired... And I'm sure she will find a reason to fire me by... She just wants to get rid of me.
f**k her. I'm tired of this shit.
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Heather Sweet
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Hope things went ok today x x x
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assistedsuicide
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Well, the meeting pretty much sucked. She came out with a ton of bullshit, I tried to deffend myself but it didn't really work. So I sat there calmly, then after her blabbing on about my 3 month trial period which nobody even told me existed. I told her I think it's best I go try another job and come back to Lush another time.
She said she will give me a good reference, but to be honest she had an easy way out of this... And I'm still tempted to complain.
I feel terribly patronized but relieved I'm now out of there.
Here's to hopeing I actually get another job tho...
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EllaEmerald
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What a bitch, I hope she gets crabs. Complain, she can't hurt you now!!
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Fleur du Mal
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You handled it the best possible way, I think. This way you haven't done or said anything to make yourself look bad. If you just sat quietly she's got no reason to give you a bad reference. Yes it would have been more satisfying to tell her where to stick it, but it would only have come back to bite you in the backside.
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assistedsuicide
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Apparently an employer can't give you a bad reference anyway as it's against the law? Unless you did something REAL bad I guess. I hate the way she acted like she was doing me a favour by giving me a good reference when she actually has to do it anyway.
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Herr Geist
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If it's the same there as in the US, they cannot give a reason why you were terminated. The conversation pretty much goes like this.
"Would you hire this person again?"
and the employer can either answer yes or no. that's how I had to answer when I was management but that was over 10 years ago.
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Miss Kitty Lou
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| assistedsuicide wrote: | | Apparently an employer can't give you a bad reference anyway as it's against the law? Unless you did something REAL bad I guess. I hate the way she acted like she was doing me a favour by giving me a good reference when she actually has to do it anyway. |
They can refuse to give a reference though
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EllaEmerald
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OK, wait til you get a new job and then stick it to her!!
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Heather Sweet
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Good for you honey x
You made the right choice xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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