Nerves

assistedsuicide · Nerves

Dear Auntie Bettie,
I am forced with a problem which continues to irritate me like hell.
However I do/am fighting it and usually things are ok, but I can't help thinking if they won't be.
The problem is: Being nervous/anxious! In particular before doing a performance.
I know this is common, but I want to banish it, is this possible?!
I sometimes have to get drunk before I perform to banish the nerves but recently I managed not to get drunk before performing (wow wee!) lol.
I get nervous/anxious for weeks before my performance and it really drives me insane.
Please help!
Thankyou,
Leanne

Herr Geist

Honestly, the best way to beat this is to focus on it intently. When you start to feel your nerves shake, just take a moment to yourself. Go into a bathroom stall if you have to. Just get yourself alone. Then take in a few deep breaths and try to clear your head. You really have to focus on doing it. You can't just breathe heavy and hope it works.

Slow deliberate breaths and clear your thoughts. It helps if you close your eyes while you're doing this. Also, while you're doing it focus on letting every muscle in your body relax. Start with the shoulders and work down. Usually, once your shoulders relax, you already feel a thousand times better.

If this doesn't work, I'll teach you the Pillar Of Light exercise. I doubt it needs to be that extreme though.

ClaudiaAtlantis

I get nervous whenever I am at Blue and I'm not even performing! I take a deep breath and turn on 'Claudia'. Half the time I'm not even aware of what I'm doing or saying on stage, it's not really 'me'.

Is that clear or am I being waffly?

Auntie Bettie

My precious little one,

I too know the pain that is nerves, Dame Shirley and I have often shared a laugh or two over my shaking hand when trying to quoff my pre show sherry.

However, getting drunk is not an option as this will inevitably lead to a very sorry accident possibly resulting in you never feeling able to go onstage again.

This is difficult but one thing you must do is try and address the origin of the nerves, many of us can often pinpoint a moment in our past when someone did or said something that suddenly made us self aware. Sometimes it can be such an insignificant moment that we forget until something stirs us and the memory is pulled back sharply into focus.

As for dealing with the physical effects of nerves, what is kicking in are all your flight or fight mechanisms. Control of your breathing is essential and as has already been suggested finding a quiet corner to take slow calm breaths, grounding yourself as you go, try stamping your feet, shaking your hands. Loose control and you loose focus.

Another helpful tip is to use your persona to be someone else, project onto your persona the person you want to be and practise practise practise eventualy it will become habit.

Have faith in yourself and patience.

Auntie Bettie.

EllaEmerald

If its any consolation when I met you at the photoshoot you seemed very confident, I know its not quite the same as performing, but it might help to know that nobody else knows how nervous you feel, they just see a fabulous performer.
x

Miss Kitty Lou

Herr Geist

That's actually not good. If she WAS nervous at the photoshoot and not showing it, that can get really unpleasant for her.

I've known a LOT of girls that get intimidated and nervous really easy. Some even have diagnosed conditions and nervous disorders. You'd never know by looking at them. They strut. They don't fidget. They aren't wearing their shoulders around their ears. Nothin. But inside they're totally melting down. And no one can see it so no one tries to soothe them in any way. Sometimes all it takes is a person to give you a pat on the back or offer some kind words.

I'm always willing to help someone ease their nerves if I can.

I hope this post made sense because I just woke up and my mind is still having trouble figuring out what this big blinky screen is.

assistedsuicide

Miss Baby Bones

heres my tips that helped me become more relaxed when performing...

MATES!!

theyre great.

stick them in the front row so you can see them. its amazing how you remember to smile then!

also, if you find eye contact hard just pinpoint ONE person (can be a mate!) and make good eye contact with them.

hold that eye contact and everyone will love it!

i had to go onstage last week as the compere pulled out due to illness.
ive never even spoken into a mic before, but having a bunch of mates in the front row made it so much better!

try it, im confident you'll find it easier then!

xxx

EllaEmerald

I can testify to that, you did a great job!