Miss Baby Bones
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How to please a woman!do the washing up!!
lol
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Pieman
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If only I'd have known before it was that easy.
Life should be fairly simple from now on 
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Herr Geist
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I call shennanigans on this! I'm a super clean freak type person. Laundry, kitchens, carpets, bathrooms and even my own body. If it has even a slight hint of odor that only a bloodhound could smell, I'm gonna clean it til it shines... even my own body!
Oh wait.... women love me.... 
Yeah, this is probably true, fellas. Listen to the Bones Lady.
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smudge
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That's a sweeping generalisation. In my experience this isn't always true.
Any more gems you'd like to share?
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DarklyDelicious Millicent
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Well....
Spend load of money on shopping, wining and dining and then.........get lost so I can try on all the pretty things and go out with friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOL
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Herr Geist
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Whatever gets you out of my hair, lady.
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Miss Baby Bones
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| smudge wrote: | That's a sweeping generalisation. In my experience this isn't always true.
Any more gems you'd like to share? |
yes, the jewel in the crown is...
dont answer back!
LOL ;p
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Man In A Hat
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in my humble opinion women and men respond to the same thing..being listned to, and agreed with. Unfortunitly i often find myself very disagrable.
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Ruby Rose
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Aw you're a sweetie.
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Warren
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Learn to breathe thru your ears .....
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Herr Geist
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Indeed.
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Ruby Rose
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I love you boys!
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Herr Geist
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We know
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Candy Crush
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I note the use of the word 'boys'
*giggle*
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Gehenna
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I just read the title of this thread out loud, then Angel chipped in with the reply, "be a woman."
It's the scrap heap for me then... 
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Broomy
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| Warren wrote: | | Learn to breathe thru your ears ..... |
Now that could come in very handy, but I would need to post the reason on the naughty thread.
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EvaBraun
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My top tips for romantic satisfaction,
Males, adore, worship and satisfy me, be a walking cash machine, cook, clean and tidy when requested, bring me gifts home every evening from work. However if you behave accordingly be sure that I will submit to you in the same way.
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Herr Geist
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So..... you're probably single then, eh? haha
Get your own job!
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smudge
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| EvaBraun wrote: | | bring me gifts home every evening from work.. |
There aren't that many things at work that I could bring you... I think they'd notice if furniture started going missing.
Unless you have a thing for photocopiers...
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Herr Geist
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or old computer monitors!
The all green monochrome ones from deep in the storage.
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EvaBraun
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Happily married I will have you know, with a man whom adores me and I adore back in equal measures!
xoxo Eva
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EvaBraun
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Unless you have a thing for photocopiers...[/quote]
I have a thing for all office equipment especially stationary... I work from home so don't have a stationary cupboard to raid but oh if I did...
xoxo Eva
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Herr Geist
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It's true what they say. There's a sucker born every minute. haha
I'm just playin' around. Good job on the happy marriage. Not many of those these days.
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Ruby Rose
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| EvaBraun wrote: | My top tips for romantic satisfaction,
Males, adore, worship and satisfy me, be a walking cash machine, cook, clean and tidy when requested, bring me gifts home every evening from work. However if you behave accordingly be sure that I will submit to you in the same way. |
Here here! Miss Braun, I heartily agree.
Ruby
x
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EvaBraun
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| Herrgeist wrote: | It's true what they say. There's a sucker born every minute.
. |
It's true there is!
xoxo Eva
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Warren
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You can never have enough suckers .....
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Ruby Rose
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I do love you warren!
Ruby
x
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Warren
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Lets run away together with the pixies, Ruby !!
And burn things !!!
xx
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Ruby Rose
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YAY! although you musn't singe my wings 
Ruby
x
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Herr Geist
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Or get it in her hair.
WOOSH!
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Ruby Rose
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aaaaaaaaaargh goodness me, I wonder if Warren has any idea how much hairspray I wear
Ruby
x
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EllaEmerald
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Is there anyone alive who doesn't steal from work?
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Warren
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I work from home and even I steal things !!
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DarklyDelicious Millicent
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| EllaEmerald wrote: | | Is there anyone alive who doesn't steal from work? |
ME!
What the hell would i do with lunge lines, whips, bridles, saddles, horseshoes, syringes, drugs........on second thoughts dont answer that????? 
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Miss Kitty Lou
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| EllaEmerald wrote: | | Is there anyone alive who doesn't steal from work? |
Yeah.. um, unless anyone wants bottles of dirty water? Anyone??
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Ruby Rose
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I'm with Warren, I work from home and I will steal anything I can get my dirty little hands on, I particularly like it when there's champagne in the fridge!
Ruby
x
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DarklyDelicious Millicent
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| Ruby Rose wrote: | I'm with Warren, I work from home and I will steal anything I can get my irty little hands on, I particularly like it when there's champagne in the fridge!
Ruby
x |
Oooh did that when I use to work in Mayfair for Schroders - had a whole case of very nice champers to myself, one bottle over the morning every morning for quite a while!!!LOL
Then when that ran out started on the vodka, gin etc etc 
xx
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Heather Sweet
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naughty naughtyIt's not so much the odd pen from work i absent mindedly shove in the bag. It's what i've nicked on the drink that's the worry.
1 Padestrian sign, 1 colne , 1 fake bottle of lansons , 1 building works frame, tens of t-lights and i used to wake up with a fag lighter down my cleaveage every other weekend.
how to please a woman .... hmmmmm
erm don't turn me into the cops for being a pissed clepto.
and have a sence of humour.
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Herr Geist
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I like her answer the best so far haha
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Broomy
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| EllaEmerald wrote: | | Is there anyone alive who doesn't steal from work? |
What would I want with:
Physedone
Methadone
Phenobarbitone
Morphine
Dia-morphine
Pethidine
Hypodermic syringes?
They are just everyday use in The Ambulance Service.
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Heather Sweet
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oooooohI'll swap you for a pair of heart pasties, and a bag of dortios.
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Ruby Rose
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I'll swap you for lipstick, eyeliner, sparkly pretty eyeshadows, hairspray, setting lotion and curlers.
Do you know the street value of that stuff!!!!!!!!
Ahem oops, scuse me
Ruby
x
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Broomy
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I would love to jest with you girls but the attacks on crews have become so commonplace that we now wear stab-proof vests. Years ago, all that an ambulance crew member could do was, what was known as, scoop and run. Today we are trained to an exceptional degree, but the downside is that we are seen as soft targets, hence the stab vests.
But If anyone has an accident somewhere between the end of the M27 and the spur road down to Bournemouth, I'll make sure you get a bit of staff discount.
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Ruby Rose
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Good heavens Broomy that sounds positively gaaahstly! They should give you guns, that would stop the nasty little blighters. What sort of sick twisted little individual would stab a paramedic. I'm dashed incensed to the point where I may have to swear online!!!!!! *stabs exclamation key hard repeatedly*
Ruby
x
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Broomy
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Ruby, you are sweet. xx
We do have ways of dealing with the, shall we say, unruly. Next time you pass an ambulance, that's a frontline one, the emergency type, if the back door is open take a peek at the patient's chair, If they are on the stretcher they are usually of no physical danger to us, on the arms of the chair are hidden clasps, there is a secreted foot operated trigger. Any nonsense and they can be clamped in a nanosecond. The clamps are there for restraining patients with a history of violence, like mental health problems, but they are equally effective .........can't say anymore.
But you could buy a copy of today's Daily Mail and look up pages 30 & 31. All is revealed.
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Boudicca
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I had the paramedics out last week to my liddle lady, Hollie.
She is only 10 and was terrified of getting into the ambulance, and I have to say the paramedics attending were absolutely amazing with her.
Chatting away to her and telling her funny stories, they even popped there head in to see her later on in the evening.
My eldest even wants to be in the public services after college but not sure which one yet.
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Ruby Rose
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| Boudicca wrote: | | My eldest even wants to be in the public services after college but not sure which one yet. |
What about burlesque, can't think of a better public service sorry I'll get my coat!!!
Ruby
x
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Boudicca
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| Ruby Rose wrote: | | Boudicca wrote: | | My eldest even wants to be in the public services after college but not sure which one yet. |
What about burlesque, can't think of a better public service sorry I'll get my coat!!!
Ruby
x |
I doubt it Ruby, he has the coordination of a baby giraffe..apart from with a ball at his feet!!
But he's a fine looking young man (excuse the nepotism) so he will look good in any uniform!
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Herr Geist
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Royal Marines!
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Boudicca
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| Herrgeist wrote: | | Royal Marines! |
He can't swim!!!
Its amazing that he excels at all sports, yet put him in water and he swims like a brick..
I do think that a bit of national service wouldn't do any of em any harm these days, they should definately bring that back and teach some of these bloody scallies some manners!!!
Jeez..I sound like a right old fart!!
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Miss Kitty Lou
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| Boudicca wrote: |
Jeez..I sound like a right old fart!! |
*hands over your slippers and zimmer frame*
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Boudicca
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[quote="Miss Kitty Lou"] | Boudicca wrote: |
Jeez..I sound like a right old fart!! |
*hands over your slippers and zimmer frame*
[/quote
Hahahaaaa..you don't know how close to the truth you are there, honey!!
But not the slippers..unless they're very glamorous!!
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