| Archive for Burlesque Womens Institute For lovers of all things vintage and burlesque |
| Fleur du Mal |
Girls ...... what do you do when you find yourself feeling really unsexy and unattractive all the time? How do you turn it around? I used to be all confident but now it's deserted me. And it's affecting my relationship too. Anyone understand? Any advice? |
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| Miss Kitty Lou |
I understand.. no advice unfortunately though 
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| Herr Geist |
It baffles me how a girl with legs like yours could EVER feel unsexy.
Then again, this is one reason I'm glad I'm single. I don't get women at all! Wish I could help, hon. |
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| Lillian Demure |
I think it's just a case of waiting it out..
those fellings tend to go away after awhile.. tho you could look at yourself everyday in the mirror and pick a different feature each day and say something nice about it.. until you are all positively reaffirmed.. |
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| Ms Curvy Cupcakes |
Yeah my friend argues strongly for the positive affirmations thang. Repeat and BELIEVE what you are saying. Don't think negative thoughts, put them out of your mind instantly by replacing them with a positive one. Hope you feel better soon, wanna swap bodies with me? I'd quite happily have yours! | ||||
| Fleur du Mal |
Teehee thanks HG - but that's exactly why I directed the question at the girls! Men don't get it, but all girls do go through this at times. I think it's the dreaded hormones to be honest - they do make female life so difficult! Lillian & Curvy - thanks for the advice girlies. I'll give it a go and see what happens ... |
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| Bella Sicilia |
OMG I know exactly where you are coming from here! Lol! I feel grossly un-sexy at the moment also! I honestly think it is this awful groggy dull weather that makes us feel like poop! We need lovely sunshine! | ||||
| Herr Geist |
I guess I will never understand.
Of course, when you look as good as I do... it's hard NOT to feel sexy. *struts away*  haha
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| Selena Lix |
hey hun i get my hair done, get a makeover, smother myself in body cream - just generally pamper myself and spend time on making myself feel better. even putting on lipstick brightens me up and makes me feel sexy. oooh and watch Gok Wan on How to look good naked - that programme is so uplifting hope these feelings dont last long hun x |
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| Ms Curvy Cupcakes |
Oh yeah shopping! Cures it all, but just don't shop for clothes if you're feeling fat. Shoes are always your best friend! | ||||
| Broomy |
Re: Girls ...
Fleur, you mentioned your hormones. Delicate question: Is your monthly cycle regular? any heavy losses need investigating, chop chop. Providing all the girly bits are doing what they should be doing and it's just a case of, loss of confidence. Go out and treat yourself to the best and most gorgeous kick-ass lipstick that you can afford. Wear it with just the lightest of make up, mascara to accentuate your eyes, no heavy eyeliner, I find blusher helps. Instant health, I call it. Now just to prove that you really are a gorgeous girlie, go out in a knee length, or just below the knee length hemline. This will give you the confidence you need, because you will still attract much attention, despite your lovely legs being covered up. And if you still need a boost, just rely on the witch. http://cgi.ebay.com/MARRY-ME-LOVE...17QQcmdZViewItem#ebayphotohosting |
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| Honeylulu |
When I feel like that I dress up, wear nice make up and shoes and it normally helps; retail therapy is a great little helper to me too!
hope you'll feel gorgeous soon! xx |
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| Fleur du Mal |
Selena - when I get time I'll have to try it! My job doesn't help, I work night shifts which means I sleep until about 4 or 5 in the afternoon, and by the time I get up it's just time to get ready for work again. My days off are worse because I'm just tired and sleepy. Maybe that's part of the problem? Hmmm ...
Curvy - I'd love to do some shopping but I'm well and truly skint! Broomy - I did mention my hormones, and it's because in the past year I've been on about three different types of hormonal contraception and have come to the comclusion that they're evil! I reckon that's what's making me depressed, all the artificial hormones swilling around inside. I'd stop them completely only I use them to control the crippling period pain I get without them, which put my job at risk. So it's a choice between a week of pain and being pretty much incapacitated every month and risk losing my job, or controlling the pain, keeping my job but suffering the depressing side effects. Being a girl sucks when you have to make decisions like that! |
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| syntheticdarkness |
Pamper yourself! Put on your best clothes and just go down town, dress up for no reason! and if all else fails find some one who you know will compliment you and say howdy whilst stunningly dressed! | ||||
| Broomy |
Fleur, had to laugh at my sister-in-law, just at the way she laughs at herself. She can get really bad PMS, and the first day of her period can make her practically buckle with pain. I saw her a couple a days ago, and immediately recognised "the wince." "You need any help?" I asked, "It's ok," she said, supporting herself on my shoulder. "You know why it's called PMS don't you?" she said, "Coz Mad Cow Disease was already taken." What a gal. |
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| Minnie the Minxtress |
Fleur, how about this... it's a technique that is used in cognitive behaviour therapy.
You get a page of paper and each day write something positive about yourself that has occured to you through the day or you've heard, or been told... ie: 'a friend told me I looked nice today' or 'a guy smiled at me in Sainsburys' etc..' (so I am attractive to someone else) Or 'I know that my best feature is.......' It doesn't sound very impacting at first, but if you keep at it, after a while it makes you think about what you've written. Also, as a week goes by, you'll read back on something that you may have forgotten (like someone giving you a smile in the street or something). It does work, but with any kind of stuff like this, you have to commit to it. I do know how you feel... I feel like that myself.. I think you have to ride it out and dedicate special things for yourself too.. like little treats that are manageable (nice new nailpolish etc) each week, so that you make an effort. Hope that helps. 
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| Fleur du Mal |
Broomy - she sounds like a girl with a great sense of humour, what a quote!
Minxtress - that's pretty good advice, I may just have to try it out and see if it works. Plus it gives me an excuse to use the cute little journal my man's sister gave me for Christmas ... |
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| Midnight Blue |
Sorry I've not read this before sweety. I totally understand. I have polycystic ovaries and am ruled by hormones and heavy periods. I had the mirena coil fitted for a year after Ezri was born, which initially was fantastic. No periods whatsoever, no pain, less hormones. But gradually over the 12 months I realised it was becoming a better contraception than we ever intended. In that I NEVER wanted sex, had naughty thoughts or anything!!!! So unlike me!! So it had to come out. Works for alot of people though, has much less hormones than pills, etc and you don't have to worry about it for 5 years
Right now I'm waiting for an appointment at the gp's to look at other options as the hormones and pain are crippling me. As I don't want anymore kids they might be ablasing my endometrium apparently! Sounds very unfun but if it works who gives a crap In your case, the lack of sleep can't be helping. Other than that its being on top of your cycle and knowing when the bad days are coming and be ready for them. I can't claim to have life sorted so far a feeling sexy goes, but I ain't giving up til I get there kisses -x- |
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| Fleur du Mal |
Well obviously it's been a while since I posted this and a few things have changed. I've changed my contraception and come off the injection and changed back to the mini pill. The depression seems to have sorted itself out, and the sex drive seems to be coming back - Keri, if you went through the same thing you'll know how horrible it was and how bad it makes you feel, so I'm glad to be coming out the other side! My body's having difficulty adjusting to the change though - I'm 2 stone heavier, my hair has gone greasier and I keep having acne breakouts - but I think the psychological effects more than make up for it!
Ablasing your endometrium - is that the one where they put the sort of balloon into your womb and fill it with hot water to kill the endometrial cells? I want that, it's supposed to be painless and fantastic - but I've not had any kids and am quite young, so they probably won't let me >_< |
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| Midnight Blue |
Thats the one. I want it too now
Its a pretty revolutionary thing as its given doctors another step before the dreaded hysterectomy which I fear I'd be headed towards but don't want. |
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| Miss Baby Bones |
Fleur keep telling your doctor whats going on, maybe you need a different sort of pill. they're there to help you, dont suffer in silence!
xxx |
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| Fleur du Mal |
Oh don't worry Bonesie, I did! My GP's a good one (I finally got a good one after years of swapping, and it's worth it!) and she's sorting me out, slowly but surely!
Thanks to all of you lovely ladies for your support and advice xxxx |
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| EllaEmerald |
Female gps seem to be like gold dust at my doctors! I want dianette back but apparently its really bad for your liver. My skin never looked so perfect.
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| Lily Lain |
You're not supposed to use Dianette for more than 6 months at any time, it sends you nuts and your uterus falls out or something equally as bad!! haha
Same with the last one I was on, Marvelon, you're never supposed to use for longer than 6months, it makes you infertile!! 
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| EllaEmerald |
That may explain some of the nuttiness, I just refer to them as my 'drunk' years! (Mostly cos I was drunk alot, clever use of words there) | ||||